His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
