I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
