I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
