This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
