their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Randomize
