Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
