Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
