He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
