She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize