I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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