Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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