How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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