She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
