sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
