Kiss
Puke
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
