Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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