so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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