So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
