no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
