omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
