we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
