Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I just forgot I was standing up.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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