im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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