Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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