he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
My breasts were aching with rage.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
