It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Randomize
