I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
My day in three words: secret purse cake
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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