What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
