I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
