Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
