oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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