I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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