i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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