I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Houston, we have a squirter
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
