How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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