Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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