i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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