Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize