i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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