HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
