I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
