Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
