Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize