I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
