just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Randomize
