do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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