God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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