i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
