did you get engaged???
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
