did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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