Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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