Porn is love you can see.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
