next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
