my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
