I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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