here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Randomize
