my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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