The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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