We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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