I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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