just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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