Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
